I Doubt

I want to punch in that smile,

Break that nose,

Maybe break my knuckles

Still, I want to punch that face

Only because

I still see her face.

May be,

For broken knuckles

Even a wall will do.

It used to.

Do I love her?

Not like I used to,

She is real to me now,

And I am no longer a romantic,

The mundane, to me

Has lost its magic.

She put the mundus

In my mundane.

And I hate her.

The magic is gone.

I doubt.

Am I in love again?

Or do I hate everything?

Or have I lost it all,

Unable to feel anything.

A face.

To punch?

Why is it in my mind?

A flood of unsettling confusion.

I have lost my self.

The only anchor to it

Is that I have to find it,

And even this hurt leads me somewhere.

Is this it?

Is or isn’t.

I’m too tired to find out.

She is still there.

Fading now, maybe.

Thank you.

Once again.

Be gone for good for now.

I doubt this again will end

Any good for either of us.

Still,

I doubt

Do I love her?

Not like I used to.

She is mundane.

Still, now

My mundane lights up with magic.

And maybe

I can.